Men: We are Not Superman. We will Never Be Superman. We are Mortal. | #LiveALittle

**Disclaimer: Some of what I'm about to tell you is hearsay but I tend to believe all source where my information came from.** I heard of the death of a man I have known about for approximately 20 years. He was 49 when he died last week. His funeral is tomorrow. His name was Joe. He was a nice man. We had worked in the same bar & restaurant industry back in Topeka. We didn't know each other well but in passing we would say hello and call each other by name. When I learned of his passing I was curious of what killed him so I reached out to some mutual friends and the information I received blew my mind. Apparently Joe died due to complications of cancer. What blows my mind is that he just learned of his stage 4 lung cancer 3 to 4 weeks before he died. He apparently went into the hospital with stomach pain and got diagnosed with lung cancer that metastasized through his liver and pancreas. He didn't even have the chance to fight the cancer. He was too late. One thing about Joe is, he didn't go to doctors. He felt as though they were "over-rated".
Middle aged men don't go to the doctor because we are afraid that we are going to told we are not Superman. That we are mortal. That we can get sick. But this is silly. We can fight. We can get treatment. We can beat or control cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc.
Go to the doctor. Ellen made me go. She nagged, and nagged, and nagged, and nagged until I went. When I finally went I was told bad news and I was told I was not Superman but I'm doing everything I can to live better and healthier. I encourage you to nag that man in your life. Don't stop nagging. Get him to go. Tell him to "Man the fuck up" and go to the doctor.

Tell him about Joe. Tell him how Joe's family wishes they could nag him but they can't.

Fear of Death is Fear of Regrets

My biggest fear is death. Apparently a lot of others are just like me. Public speaking is the #1 fear of Americans with death being a close #2. That means more people would rather be in the coffin than giving the eulogy. But death really isn't my biggest fear, its actually the 5 minutes before you die, assuming I'm going to die of old age in a nursing home somewhere. That 5 minutes before I die will be my time to face all my regrets. That's what scares me. Those regrets. At that time before my death I won;t care what people think about me, what people are saying about me behind my back, I won't be worrying about small dumb shit that doesn't matter, but I will be thinking about about all the times I did. How I let others effect me negatively. How I missed out on amazing crazy opportunities because I was worried I would look silly in the eyes of others. How I stayed at a job I hated because I was worried about truly finding something I loved and took a chance and went for it. My worry is that I will spend my entire life worrying but the last 5 minutes sad because I worried. That last 5 minutes scares me to death, literally.  I want my last 5 minutes to be thinking about the amazing things I did, the loving people in my life, and having no regrets.

Why Am I So Afraid of the Doctor? | #LiveALittle Journey

I avoided doctors like bad warm beer. Never went. Didn't want to hear bad news. If I had something bad I would first try the Minute Clinics but other than that things would just heal themselves right? Apparently I was just like the majority of middle aged men, "I'm not going to the doctor. I'm fine." Its true that the majority of middle aged men who don't go to the doctor haven't gone for the same reasons I didn't, scared of results. I'm not here to offend any non doctor going men by lumping you all into my excuse pool but I'm sure what I am about to say will hit home close to a lot of you.
You're absolutely scared. You don't want to hear the bad news. Shit, you don't want to hear anything close to bad news. Out of sight out of mind. Thinking, "If I don't know about any aliments then they don't actually exist." I can't believe I thought this exact same way. It was like I was some kind of Superman who never would get sick.  This way of thinking can kill you. When I was younger hearing about older guys in their late thirties and early/mid forties dying of natural causes would scare the shit out of me.

Little did I realize but a lot of those deaths could have been avoided if those dudes went and saw the doctor earlier. We live in the 21st century, these things can be avoided.
I used to work in the nightclub entertainment industry. I lived a fun and hard life from the age of 20 to about 28. Eight really hard years on my life. Never went to the doctor once in those eight years. Drinking, smoking, basically having way too much fun. When you're you're having too much fun your body is usually paying for it. When I walked away from the lifestyle of partying 24/7 for eight straight years my family made me go to the doctor, no question I just had to go. They were worried about me and rightfully so. Made the appointment, but wasn't happy about it, and found out nothing life threatening but terrible sleep apnea. Going untreated sleep apnea can cause some pretty scary shit. Shit, one of my NFL football heroes, Reggie White, died from complications due from sleep apnea.

After being diagnosed with sleep apnea a smart person would continue going to the doctor for follow up visits and make sure everything was under control. Hell I've had health insurance my entire life so its a no brainer, but I didn't.   I didn't go back for almost 15 years. Fifteen years between doctor visits to check up on a serious medical condition that has killed people. Why am I so stupid? Oh yeah, because I'm a middle aged man afraid of bad news from doctors. Some how I think that if a doctor takes my blood or looks down my throat he or she is going immediately tell me with a somber face, "You have cancer." This is ridiculous, I mean it's not ridiculous that a doctor might one day tell me that, it's ridiculous that's my worry. Seriously if I did have cancer wouldn't I want to know right away? Enough time to fight it? I say cancer but there are plenty of other aliments that scared me, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.
When I went to the doctor, again finally after almost 15 years, 6 months ago I did get bad news. In fact I got horrible news. My blood tests came back that I indeed did have diabetes. The moment that I had been avoiding for almost 15 years happened. The doctor looked at me with his somber face and told me I had diabetes. I fucking sucked but it happened. He also told me of some other problems that my blood tests showed, like extreme low testosterone (which I'm also currently fixing). But he insured me that I wasn't dying, well at least ahead of schedule at the moment.
I could ramble on and on about not going to the doctor for 15 years and being old wussy for not going but that would get tiresome. The main point to this blog was to encourage guys out there just like me to stop being a scared pansy-ass and go to the fricking doctor. We've got to break this cycle. We've got to get healthy and stay healthy.

That Mother F*cking Restart Button

The feeling can be wonderful. Everything is going good. Exercising on a regular schedule. Eating the right things. Going to bed at a good time. Then it happens. The bottom falls out. One lazy day turns into two, then five. A week goes by and now a month later exercise has gone to the back of the mind. Eating crap food. Sleep schedule starts going to hell. You've gone completely off track and the self madness starts to set in. Is it all worth it? 

Nope. Time to hit the restart button. 

We sometimes have a hard time imagining the end result. Which is life. Living longer and living healthier. It is easier to just living in the moment instead of planning for the future. But this isn't a saving account. This is life. Is there a huge difference between living to 55-60 and living to 85-90? You bet your sweet ass there is. That's 25-35 years. 25-35 years of laughing, movies, watching our younger family members grow up, and a lot more. 

I needed to hit that restart button again and I did. I've made a huge goal this time. I've vowed to run 100 miles. 2-3 miles a day for how ever long it will take me. No other focus right now except that goal. I need to prove something to myself. Pushing that restart button is not going to be embarrassing. 

Living to at least 85-90 is the long term goal. 

One thing is very clear, hitting the restart button is a lot better life choice than hitting the "power off" button.  

I must #LiveALittle

Warning: Accountability is not included.

Not only does someone need goals to succeed but they also need promises. Self promises. It is incredibly hard to make self promises when you don't have very much self love, worth, or esteem. You can't trust yourself. You've already spent years of breaking promises to the one person you are supposed to love completely unconditionally, yourself. That was my dilemma. With this new #LiveALittle lifestyle I needed to make some self promises but I needed to get down to the nitty gritty of what they should be.

My first promise needed to reflect why I was even making an attempt at a new #LiveALittle life. I wanted to get out and be more active. Seeing the world was becoming more of a priority to me and my new job was giving me the opportunity to get out more.  A flight to Las Vegas via Southwest Airlines put a huge scar on my self esteem at the beginning of my journey.
Got to the airport early, grabbed a coffee at the Starbucks, read some articles on my iPad waiting for my flight at the gate, got A list seating, boarded the plane, took out my laptop, sat down, buckled my seatbe........ Try again, buckled my seatb.......... Damn, suck it in fatty. Buckled my seatbel............Holy shit. I'm too fat for the seatbelt. This was one of the biggest eyeopening experiences of my life. It was all making sense, how could I travel and experience new things if I couldn't fit in normal airplane seats? I also had recent memories of how I couldn't ride the roller coasters at Worlds of Fun in Kansas City because the safety bar wouldn't latch due to me being too big. This was serious.
Promise #1: Live a healthier and more active lifestyle. 

Sitting for long periods of time in front of the television watching entire seasons of shows like Sons of Anarchy, Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, and Mad Men used to fill my weekends. I didn't know anyone in Kansas City and I didn't have any intentions to meet anyone so getting out and about was detoured again by bullshit. If I wasn't too fat to do it, I was too lazy. Notorious for always mumbling to myself, on the long lazy ass weekend of extreme Netflix watching, "Damn, I'm so bored". How in hell could I be bored?! I lived in amazing city with hundreds of things to do. I had no right complaining that I was bored. Choosing to stay at home and not venture out was my own doing. Laziness was my problem and a fear of change or trying something different. A change my pattern is what I needed, and to live outside my current comfort zone. Focus on starting local, and go from there. Needed to look for activities happening in my community like Waldo Days, Irishfest, Union Station, or just garage sale driving, and venture more out from there. With this new way of thinking I would hardly be at home. Always be moving.
Promise #2: Never complain about being bored.



Not only would I complain about being bored sometimes I just wouldn't want to move. Just lay in bed. Making excuses why I couldn't meet new friends for happy hour or go on a 12 mile bike ride through Lenexa & Overland Park. Lying to myself was something that came very easy. It's something I still struggle with daily. Constantly want to lie to myself and make up excuses to not live a little bit more. To just give up and lie. This is possibly the toughest of all of the promises. Still struggle with it but I've come so far.
Promise #3: Stop making excuses & lying to yourself

The fourth promise I needed to make to myself, in order to live a better and more productive life, seems like it would be a tough one but it's really not. I compare it to removing a bandaid. What's the least painful way to remove a bandaid? You guessed it, just rip it off. I needed to get the negative out of my life. Negative people, vices, habits, thinking, everything. I've got to be really careful here because some of you reading this might take it personally and I think I'm talking about you when I mention getting the negative people out of my life. If you are taking it personally and think I'm talking about you you're absolutely right. Only negative people would think that way. If you haven't heard from me in awhile then at least you know now why. So at least it's a win/win? Getting rid of negativity was like I was having a fire sale. Everything negative must go! Smoking cigarettes, GONE! Shitty unloving girlfriend always complaining and talking mad smack on all her friends, GONE! Getting liquored up weekly, GONE! I still enjoy a drink now and again but seriously, if you're over 35 and enjoy getting schammered daily or weekly you might want to reconsider your choices. But hey, its your life, this is just a promise I needed to make to myself.
Promise #4: Cut out all negativity

So far my promises seemed very doable. I needed to stick to them. Figuring out how to keep myself accountable was the tough part. Talk the talk, no problem. Walk the walk, "Houston we have a problem." Accountability. I figured the best way to create accountability is to tell the masses what you are going to do and the promises you are going to make. I knew the perfect place to announce my promises and ask for assistance in keeping them. In fact, asking others to examine the same promises and maybe make them for themselves might even increase that accountability. People relying on others in a full accountability circle, what a great concept. The #LiveALittle Project members were perfect for this and the promises I was making to myself fit right in with other struggles people face with trying to live a #LiveALittle life. So not only would the word of the promises spread but the word of The #LiveALittle Project would spread with it.
Promise #5: Spread the word about the #LiveALittle lifestyle and encourage others to make the same 5 promises

http://TheLiveALittleProject.com

The #LiveALittle Mission Statement | Living for those who cannot

I've been thinking a lot lately. I love the #LiveALittle Project but want to see it go to the next level. What that level is I don't know. I've been advised to write a business plan & mission, vision, values statement for the project. Making The #LiveALittle Project a registered nonprofit would require those anyway. I've been stuck on the Mission statement. What exactly is the mission of The #LiveALittle Project? There’s a few of the things I have said in the last year that The #LiveALittle Project stood for but this has been the main statement:
“Encourage people to live a little bit more every single day.”
What exactly does that mean? We are all different when it comes to living a little bit more every day. Fitness, health, losing weight, more activity, have been the issues that most of the members of the project have focused on but there are so many more issues project members getting detoured with to further their “live a little” life. Dead end jobs, terrible relationships, estranged family, substance abuse problems, and the big three: lack of self-esteem, self worth, and self-love.
Then it hit me.

In high school I met a very beautiful, funny, caring, protective, loving amazing girl named Michelle. I fell in love with Michelle within minutes of meeting her. We spent hours upon hours together. She was a true friend. We weren’t romantically involved; we loved each other in the purest form, complete respect. Over time our lives drifted apart but we stayed in touch because of modern social media sites like MySpace and Facebook. The last time I saw Michelle was when I went to visit her in

Phoenix nearly 4 years ago. She was still beautiful after all those years. Now a wife and a mom our lives had changed very much but that visit we were swept back to 1992 and giggled like high school teenagers gossiping about everyone we went to school with. About 2 years ago I received an email from Michelle telling me that she had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer but for me not to worry because she was going to fight it and she was going to beat it.

Six months later my beautiful Michelle died.

A lot of you may have some kind of similar story about someone you love or know being diagnosed with a terminal disease. Have you noticed the amazing thing they do after they are diagnosed? They change. They wake up from the haze that all of us seem to be in. Suddenly trees look different and are more noticeable. Smells smell different and amazing. Wind isn’t just wind, it tickles and fills your spirit. Self-love starts to prevail, self-esteem become clearer, and self worth becomes one of the most important things right next to the love of others. The definition of life for someone with a terminal disease takes on a whole new meaning and I believe that meaning is what we all are striving for. Why must we wait until we are told that our death is very near before we truly start to live a little? Why can’t we do it now? We are all dying but we ignore that. What’s the first thing most smokers diagnosed with lung cancer do when their doctors tell them that their disease is fatal? They stop smoking, because they truly find that self-love to continue to do whatever necessary to possibly continue their life even if it is a tiny chance. It took me 20 years to quit smoking. Even when I learned of Michelle’s disease, and even her death, one would think I would have stopped but I didn’t.
This is where I believe the mission statement of The #LiveALittle Project needs to come from. It’s not solely about fitness, eating right, loving your work, and trying new things, loving new people and those already in our lives. It is about LIVING.

The #LiveALittle Project’s Mission Statement:
“To encourage others to live life as though they would not see next year”

From this moment on I dedicate my #LiveALittle life to my beautiful Michelle and her spirit, and I live my #LiveALittle life for myself and those who love me.

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who Hustle.

If you're in the automotive retail industry you know who Grant Cardone is. Grant Cardone is a motivating, in your face, "Don't be a little bitch", coaching, social media posting, branding superstar that has positively touched many.  I don't sell cars but as my pal Sean Stapleton says, "Everyone is in sales. Doesn't matter if your desking deals or sweeping the service department floor, you're in sales." Professionally I'm digital marketer in the auto industry that provides services to dealerships and Grant has greatly influenced me. The dude is good at personal branding. Grant hosted a NatGeo television show called The Turn Around King, he's put on hundreds of training seminars, video blogs, and has wrote a few books over time. One of those books really grabbed my attention. "The 10X Rule." Amazon describes the book as:

"While most people operate with only three degrees of action-no action, retreat, or normal action-if you're after big goals, you don't want to settle for the ordinary. To reach the next level, you must understand the coveted 4th degree of action. This 4th degree, also know as the 10 X Rule, is that level of action that guarantees companies and individuals realize their goals and dreams."

With my new found #LiveALittle lifestyle this book seemed right up my alley.  It was time to make more action, stop settling for ordinary, and truly start to realize my hopes and dreams.
My commute to work is around 30 minutes so I purchased the audio book. With no idea what to really expect I started listening the day I downloaded it. Grant started out pretty strong, would get distracted a few times but listening to Grant's side bar commentary was well worth it. Hearing Grant get excited and pumped up about his own words made me a true believer that he owned every word coming out of his mouth. He didn't just preach it he lived it everyday. He brought back the true positive meaning of the word "Hustler".  Not a nickel and dime punk that did anything to make a buck but a true work your f*cking ass off-hit the grind stone running-self made hustler. I wanted to be a hustler. Listening to Grant's words even made me believe he wanted me to kick ass.   A few other things really stood out to me too and were "aha" moments.

Average is a failing formula.
I never thought about this concept. Studies show that the majority of Americans strive for average. Strive for average. Repeat that one more time. They strive for average. They don't believe they are average so they are working on just becoming average. I thought I was average, heck I thought I was above average but I wasn't. I was one of those striving for average. Many might disagree with this whole striving for average statement but I bought into it. I still do. Living a #LiveAlittle life may not be living below average, average, or above average but it does put things in perspective. I don't want to make a medium income, have a average relationship, average vacations, learn normal things, etc. By living a little bit more every single day is my way of staying above average.

It is your moral duty, obligation, and responsibility to your family, your company, and your future self to achieve success.
Wow. After setting back and making excuses about why I couldn't achieve my goals this really hit hard. I mean I've hit goals but I usually did them half ass or changed them multiple times to fit my slacking nature . This truly called out the person I had been before discovering a #LiveALittle journey.

Become Omnipresent. 
In other words "be everywhere". No excuses for being bored. Be everywhere. Always be moving either physically or mentally. Keep your mind, your body, or your hustle always in check and in demand. This one may not fit everyone but it fit me in a few different ways. For one, I'm a digital marketer in the automotive industry, a very competitive industry with outstanding digital marketing solutions and consultants, and I need for people to not only know me but trust the advice I give. Personal branding is all about marketing. If I can't market myself how can I expect you to believe I can market your business? Personal branding isn't the only thing I need branded, I also wanted to market the #LiveALittle Project too along with the inspirational stories from all of the members. The #LiveALittle Project is an amazing motivational and inspirational group I think the entire world needs to know about. Success for myself and the #LiveALittle Project was not just going to find me I had to fight for it and become omnipresent.

Grant Cardone's words from The 10X Rule may not be what you need but it was exactly what I needed at the time and even now. Promises I made to myself and what I challenged members of The #LiveALittle Project to were directly influenced by The 10X Rule. Out of dozens of promises to be made to one's self in the #LiveALittle lifestyle 5 really stood out and seemed the most important. If you promise to keep reading my blog, go back and read a couple you may have missed then I promise to break down the 5 #LiveALittle Promises in my next post. Before I started writing this post I noticed "My #LiveALittle Project" blog hit 1000 views. Thank you. Thank you for reading my story.

You rock.