Friday, August 15, 2014

Fear of Death is Fear of Regrets

My biggest fear is death. Apparently a lot of others are just like me. Public speaking is the #1 fear of Americans with death being a close #2. That means more people would rather be in the coffin than giving the eulogy. But death really isn't my biggest fear, its actually the 5 minutes before you die, assuming I'm going to die of old age in a nursing home somewhere. That 5 minutes before I die will be my time to face all my regrets. That's what scares me. Those regrets. At that time before my death I won;t care what people think about me, what people are saying about me behind my back, I won't be worrying about small dumb shit that doesn't matter, but I will be thinking about about all the times I did. How I let others effect me negatively. How I missed out on amazing crazy opportunities because I was worried I would look silly in the eyes of others. How I stayed at a job I hated because I was worried about truly finding something I loved and took a chance and went for it. My worry is that I will spend my entire life worrying but the last 5 minutes sad because I worried. That last 5 minutes scares me to death, literally.  I want my last 5 minutes to be thinking about the amazing things I did, the loving people in my life, and having no regrets.